Emotions?

My emotions seem to be going crazy I'm feeling so much at once i don't even know what to think.
Hate:
I hate school and hate stupid people. I hate all the problems with this world from pollution to murder to abuse. I hate my broken keyboard. I hate not knowing what to do and not being able to fix my mistakes. I hate arguing and fighting. I hate the fact that i hate everything around me but most of all i hate myself. I refuse to change b/c i am me and that is all.

Sadness:
I'm to old to cry but it doesn't mean i don't hurt. I lie awake hoping wondering when she will return. Sad b/c i fear she won't. I find my self in bouts of depression wanting to cry for all the pain in my life and then wanting to cry more b/c i realize others have it worse than me. I find tears welling up in my eyes when i think of his past knowing he'd be mad if he knew the pity i felt for him.

Hope:
I hope I can be happy and those around me will be to. I hope for a bright future not only for me but for all others. I hope i can make up for the pain in his heart and i hope one day she will return and not leave.

Happiness:
What i feel when we are together and safe just hanging out and having fun. Being able to laugh like nothing could ever go wrong. The way i feel when he wraps his arms around me and kisses me gently. The way the whole world seems to disappear and none of the problem are real.

Regret:
Regretting all my mistakes and not being able to fix the things that go wrong even if they are not my fault

Surprise:
ugh i hate surprises but he loves they way i look when i'm surprised so i think deep down inside me i like when he surprises me. And knowing this i can't completely hate it.

Love:
I love my family and how they are always there for me and love and protect me. My friends who i could not live with out and would not want to. Love for him and the way he looks at me not the me i see when i look in a mirror but a me when i look at him when i am with him. The me that is real and happy.

Uncertain:
Sometimes I'm not even sure I'm so used to hiding my pain I've started to believe myself. That I'm happy as can be that i don't care at all that words can't hurt me. I know these are lies but i tell myself them anyway making me uncertain of what i feel.

Boredom:
Haha yeah times like now with nothing to do but watch re runs on the TV or read but i guess i should be greatfull for times where everything is ok and peaceful.